Boys 2 Men

I feel I really "get" boys.  I have had quite a bit of experience.  When boys are little they can be overwhelming.  They fight, get dirty regardless of what you threaten them with, they jump - all the time, break bones frequently, do things in the backyard that they should do in the bathroom, and the list goes on.  And 30 seconds later they are no longer 4 years old, but 16.  Suddenly, they are MEN, and as a mom you can't help but feel crazy proud.  

Two of those crazy proud moments that I don't want to ever forget happened today.

I dropped Avery off in the heart of the Smokey Mountains with his cousin, Drew.  We needed to stop first to get him some pain meds.  I pulled into a mountain gas station.  For those of you that live around here, you will know these places have plenty of "personality."  A few of the local men were hanging around the front door.  Avery told me that he would go in for the medicine.  I said no, since I knew just what to look for, and we were running late (shock).  He said, "Mom, there is no way I will let you go in a place like this by yourself!"  So, my handsome, blond bodyguard and I ran in for the Advil - together.  Yep, I love him.

Later, I was in the busy mountain metropolis of Pigeon Forge with Riley and the 2 littles.  The tourists were driving like they were in New York City.  Evidently, vacation mode had not set in.  Riley made sure that his sister and I were walking closer to the bridge, while he walked between the traffic and us.  My heart melted. 

Although the teen years are not always full of pure pleasantness, there are many unforgettable moments. Like today.  My niece, Leslie, once told me the Lord gave me all of these boys because I am the type of person that needs someone to take care of me.  Lol - I couldn't agree  more!  My teen boys will soon be taking care of some other lady, so I am going to enjoy it as long as I can!

The above pics were taken on Mother's Day.  Told the boys all that I wanted from them that day was a Mom selfie!  :)

Broadening Borders

Life is changing around this house!  Avery now has his drivers licence!  I get such an odd feeling when he asks for the keys.  The first time that he and Riley drove off, I seriously had one of those TV commercial moments when you see the child instead of the teen.  I felt like I was watching my 9 and 6 year old drive off, complete with thick glasses, crew cuts, and cowlicks.  It was definitely a mom moment.  Yesterday, Isabella asked me why I always let Avery drive and not Riley.  I explained that Riley was not yet ready.  Landry interrupted with, "Actually, MOM is not ready yet."  He is correct.  One boy at a time.  My worries and nervousness are increased with Avery's latest health issues. It gives a new meaning to the phrase, "Let go, and let God!"  I will admit that I am happy to be in control of all aspects of my children's lives.  Mom's of little ones have that comfort.  Mom's of teens do not.  The song by Hillsong United with the phrase..."spirit lead me where my trust is without borders..." has played through my mind for days.  When a child gains freedom their borders broaden, and my trust for their safety must broaden also.  It is hard mom stuff!  

The rest of this post has nothing to do with driving, but it does have to do with Avery, and TRUSTING.  I recently found this article concerning Addison's disease.  It is very eye opening to how my son feels much of the time.  Although, he is veeeerrrryyyyy good at hiding it!  I have spent hours upon hours researching all that I can find about Addison's.  It is such an uncommon disease.  I am so thankful when I run across something that helps me to understand it better.  It is lengthy, but I thought I would share it.  I was unable to give credit to the author, because I can not find her name.  

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing. As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Addisons and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Addisons. She came to the doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know? I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing it, and didn’t seemed satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Addisons. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick. As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity? I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try. At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; I grabbed spoons off of the other tables too. I looked her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Addisons”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands. I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Addisons, being in control. She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become? I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Addisons. I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ”No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too”. I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her another spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this. I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, because when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me. We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night. When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all. I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. The "before" kind of lifestyle is the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”. After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.” Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Addisons, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

I thought this was a fantastic way to describe some of the things Avery goes through.  However, it does not tell the part about where the Lord's protection and renewed strength is given to Avery.  It does not tell of the miracle that we are believing takes place in his body each day, and it fails to mention that the Lord's supply of spoons are endless!  Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders!

A Poem About Avery by Shirley Jones, March 2003

Landry woke this morning and exclaimed, "It is Valentine's Eve!"  Tomorrow is a fun day of celebration that includes mucho sugar!  We shower the ones we love with cards, candy, flowers (hint to the Clarkster), and gifts.  We think about how much we LOVE the ones that the Lord has blessed us with.  However, do we think of all of the ones that the Lord placed in our lives that love US?  It feels oh, so good to be loved!  I am thankful for the many people that love me deeply for who I am, with all of my faults and flaws.  I am blessed to say the list is too long to name them all. 

 

I mentioned in an earlier post about discovering our treasure of  memories when cleaning up the basement.  I ran across two poems that I wanted to include in my blog.  I waited until Valentine's Day (Eve) to post them, because I was overwhelmed by feeling loved when I rediscovered them in our boxes of memories.  Sis. Shirley Jones took precious time out of her busy life to write this poem for us about Avery when he was 5 years old.  It was the spring before he started kindergarten.  As I read the poem aloud to Clark, I was warmed by her love for our us and our son.  She wrote it during a time that our Lighthouse ladies were focusing on each church family's children during our Daughter of Zion prayer.  Prayers for my children are priceless.  Thank you, Sis. Jones, for your  love and this beautiful poem that brought back so many memories!

Avery Matthew Presson

Avery is special, as a little boy he is fine

I hope that I get him as my prayer child next time
But whether or not, that pleasure I find
I will pray for your boys, as if they were mine.

I know how it feels to not have a little girl
No bows or frilly dresses, no long hair to curl
Little boys grow up, they become big and strong
But they are so special, because they are your own.

We'll always remember the boy their dad used to be
He has set an example for our son to see.

I'll always remember Avery running down the aisle
He would come into the office and always have a smile.
He was looking for his Papaw, his patience very short
When he could not find him, he got all out of sorts.

Next year he'll be in school, your days will be quiet
You'll still want to hug him, but he'll resist with all his might.
Pretty soon he'll grow up, a young man you will see
You'll remember how you held him and bounced him high upon your knee.

Yes, boys are so special, I wouldn't trade them for all
The girls in this world who are lanky and tall.

We love you and your boys, you've become a part of us
Although we're not related with pride we can burst.
I've kept them in the nursery, watched them grow through their years
You've done a good job, I pray God will calm all your fears.

You've done all you can to give them a good start in this world
You’ve worked and you've planned though your heart's been in a whirl.
God is still faithful, your burdens to share
He'll send peace to your heart when you want to pull your hair.

Avery has grown up, God's path he's been taught to follow
The day soon will come when he'll want to borrow a dollar.
He's played with computers, growing up with a cell phone
Just think about the good days, when you're sitting alone.

God has another soldier to fight his battles today
Through prayer and much fasting you are paving the way

Be happy and thankful, Avery's love you have known
He'll be there for a while, but one day he'll be gone.
To find his own place, and in God's service to stay
Another lost soul needs him to show him the way.

A dedicated life is all he has known
You can rest assured, he has had a good home.
To Grandparents and church family, a special boy he will be
He has many good examples hanging on his family tree.

I hear news of the war, the terrible bombs in the night
I think of our boys, my heart fills with fright.
God's love is always able to keep us safe through our life
He puts angels all around us to take away our fear and strife.

From this moment forward, God wants you to know
That he will walk with Avery, through the sun or the snow.
When you cannot be there, God is always around
No matter the troubles, His grace doth abound.

Avery has to travel, from your home to the sky
God's love will go with him, and that love will never die.
You can't sit back and relax now, although you’ve fought a good fight
Two lives have been born through you, and you've prayed with all your might.

Just keep right on praying, and singing your song
What seems like forever will not be very long.
Some day when you are older a man Avery will be
He may have many children for you to bounce on your knee.

Maybe he will have a daughter your spitting image she will be
You’ll smile as you hold her, and say, “I think she looks like me.”
God's love and His mercy are important to share
They are much more important than tying shoes or combing hair.

Avery is your little boy and he will always be
He may choose to be a postman, fireman, accountant, or maybe all three.
Of all the careers, he may choose with all his heart
You have done all you can, you and Clark have done your part.

Shirley Jones  March 22, 2003

My pre-k 5 year old Avery, close to the time this was written...during the time of The Patch!

Part 2 coming soon entitled, Riley Lance Presson.

A letter to my freshman...

Dear Avery,

It was just a few sleeps ago that we were preparing for kindergarten. I was so concerned that you would lose your glasses and forget your 4 digit lunch code. Most of all, I knew my days would be empty without you.

Suddenly, it is your first day of high school...

I am so proud of the young man that you are becoming. The love that I have for you is seriously indescribable. You were the first to teach me all that I know about being a mom. You will be the first to teach me to become a mom to a highschooler. I am sure I will worry, fuss and cry. Thankfully, you are used to it, and take it all in stride.

The next four years of your life are going to bring so many changes. I know that I am not ready for them, but you are. It is going to be a time of spiritual decisions that your dad and I can no longer make for you. Your walk with God is completely in your hands.

You know me well enough to know that I loovvvee to give you advice, and I feel it is an important time for some. :)

Strive to go further in the Lord than you have ever been. If your relationship with him is on steadfast ground then every situation you face will be filtered through Him. My heart explodes when I watch you worship or walk by your room and see you kneeling in prayer. The spiritual decisions that you make in the next months and years will carry you through your adult life, so go deeper, desire more from God. He has so much for you!

Choose your friends prayerfully and wisely. They are so influential in your life during these next four years. Look for friends that desire to walk, talk, and live Godly. Surround yourself with believers. Have fun, laugh, and enjoy this time. Let it be a time of joy and confidence, not insecurity. You have been blessed with so much to be secure in.

Beware of the pitfalls that Satan has laid for young men. If you do not have a DAILY relationship with the Lord, then you will easily fall into the snares of sin. Decide in your heart now to say NO to wrong situations before they  occur. “How can a young man keep his way pure? But keeping it according to God’s word.” (Psalm 119:9) Like Job, make a covenant with your eyes. (Job 31:1)

Study hard. Do your best academically. Take pride in all of your work. One day you will be look back and be able to stand tall because of your hard work, and be ready for your next step of education. Be kind and polite to all of those around you. Please make your Mama happy and remember to use your manners with the teachers and faculty.

Although friends are important during this time, family always comes first. Although, your brothers get on your last nerve at times, they will always be your best friends. You are so sweet to your new little sister. Always be her protector. Continue to stay close to your dad. I love the relationship that the two of you have. He is a man of honor and integrity, he expects no less of you. He has a prayer life like no one else that I know, may that same hunger live in you. Always come to him for advice before others. The two of you can take any situation before the Lord. Please know that I am and always will be your biggest fan. I believe in you and want the best for you, even when I drive you crazy about chores, manners, wearing your seat belt, etc, etc...

Your dad and I do not ask for perfection. We know that mistakes happen, we have made plenty. But we do ask that you strive be your best. Where much is given, much is required. When those rocky times come, and you are seeking the Lord's will for your next step in life, always remember a promise from someone who loves your more than I am capable of...

"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I love you,

Mom xoxo

"Ain't God good to give us so many blessings, undeserving, that's what we are!"

Due to a bit of Presson home renovation, all three boys are in one room for the next week or two.  I am amazed how wonderful they are getting along.  However, the mixture of the 14 year old's Xbox chaos, the 11 year old's million piece lego collection, and the 7 year old's world of all things batman is currently one huge jumbled mess.  I could not take it any longer, and had to do some cleaning this afternoon.  I noticed Avery's bed had been "made" according to my standard of bed making.  Although, Avery does not try to improve on his bed making skills, he does lllooovveee a fresh, clean bed with crisp, tight sheets made by his mom.  In the midst of my room clean-up I decided to freshen and change his bed.

I took a few extra minutes to do this, only because I know how much he enjoys it.  I love to hear that groan of contentment as he sinks into his bed, and hear the shout from across the house, "THANKS, MOM!"  While I was working on tucking in the clean sheets and finding the fresh blankets, I thought to myself that he really does not deserve this tonight.  He informed me an hour or so ago that he needed a calculator, graph paper, compass, and protractor before school in the morning.  I had bought all of these items at the beginning of the school year, but he has misplaced them.  I was not looking forward to going to the store tonight.  Clark is in Kentucky so won't be able to make a Wal-Mart stop.  So it is Mom to the rescue.  Sigh.  and double sigh. 

Back to the bed making thought.  As I was thinking of the undeserved clean bedding, the Lord reminded me of the many times I have been undeserving of His many blessings.  I have felt His blessings rain down on me when I was most unworthy. 

His mercy in the midst of my sin. 

His comfort in the midst of my confusion.

 His peace in the midst of my trial.  

I have never been and never will be deserving.  He does it all for me because of LOVE!

I took a little extra care to tuck everything nice and tight, just like Avery likes it.  Whether he deserves it or not, I love my scatterbrained teen more than life itself.  I also took a few minutes to thank the Lord for my undeserved blessings that he has given me this very day.  A short time later, I found an extra compass, protractor, graph paper, and calculator.  I will not be making a late night Wal-Mart run.  That is one BIG, undeserved blessing that makes this tired mom feel very humbled and happy!

Battle of the Shoes

The battle of the shoes has been ongoing at the Presson home since school was back in session.  I will not name any names to protect the innocent.  I will just call him Son. 

Son needed new shoes to start the school year that matched the uniform code.  Mom was surprised at how much his foot had grown over the summer!  She was even more surprised when the full impact of the cost of "mens vs boys shoe price" sank in.  Sadly, this was not the only shoe surprise with Son. 

Son made the Soccer team at school.  Much excitement was felt, and this required another trip to the store for the beloved soccer cleats!  Two weeks into school, the uniform shoes were MIA.  Gone. Vanished.  Mom reminds Son of cost of new shoes.  She then tells him to wear his Sunday go-to-meetin' black shoes with his school uniform.  The next day, only ONE of the church shoes makes it home in the gym bag.  Now THREE shoes are MIA.  Mom is not happy.  Nope, not happy at all.  She refuses to go buy MORE black shoes.  His only choice was to wear non-uniform brown Wednesday go-to-meetin' shoes to school, and hope that the administration does not notice Son's blunder.

The much anticipated first soccer game day approaches.  Mom reminds son to get all necessary school and soccer items packed in his school bag.  Son gets frustrated at Mom's constant reminders.  Mom and brothers pick up Son from school and take him to his first soccer game.  Amazingly enough, the family arrives early to the game.  Mom (always trying to save time when time can be saved) tells Son to go ahead and get his brand new awesomer than awesome soccer cleats on, so he will be ready to hit the field when the rest of the team arrives.  Son digs through his gym bag.  The soccer cleats are no where to be found.  They are MIA, along with the uniform school shoes, and one of the Sunday go-to-meetin' shoes.  Son quickly remembers that he left his cleats at home, even after all of the friendly reminders from Mom.  Mom drives WAY over the speed limit to get home, grab the forgotten cleats, then drives WAY over the limit AGAIN to give the cleats to Son before the game starts. 

The next day Son is tired from the hard exhertion of his first soccer game.  Mom is tired from the battle of the shoes.  In his state of tiredome, Son forgets to pack his P.E shoes for gym class.  At this point he knew better than to call Mom and ask her to bring his shoes.  Instead, he "sells" part of his lunch to a class mate in return for borrowing his shoes for P.E, and comes home from school very hungry. 

Thankfully, the trauma of the loss of food prompts him to recheck the school lost and found.  Son discoveres all 3 missing shoes!  Mom is happy.  Son is happy. 

Son has only been in school for four weeks.  Please stay tuned for the next episode of the Battle of the Shoes in the weeks to come, and kindly add Mom to your prayer list.

Boy's Burps and Brains

The waiting room at the doctor's office was busy, as usual. A young couple walked in with a brand new baby boy. He was adorable. His parents thought so too! They were very much in love with one another and their newest addition. Every few seconds they would kiss his soft pink cheeks and then kiss each other! You could certainly feel the love. The little guy made a tiny groan and instantly a bottle was produced from the very organized diaper bag. After a few minutes of more kissing, snuggling, and feeding, it was time for a burp. The new dad patted and patted the tiny back, but no burp. The new parents became very anxious that their little bundle was not burping! The dad begin to walk the floor and pat him on the back. Then the pretty new mom, with her burp cloth perfectly positioned tried to coax out the burp to no avail. By this time, the whole waiting room was anticipating the burp! Finally, the dad tried once more, and the little guy let out a big, manly burp! The entire room breathed a sigh of relief. The parents promptly began rejoicing as if their boy finished his first marathon. More kissing and hugging ensued.

I couldn't help but smile. There is nothing as special as that first baby feeling! It is a life-changing, eye-opening, never forgotten moment. I looked down at the magazine article I had been engrossed in before the butterfly kisses family had joined the office waiting game. "The Teen Brain." I glanced over at the couple again, and sighed. I was far from the new born experiences, yet it didn't seem like it was that long ago. 

My oldest is a few months away from fourteen.  He is experiencing daily changes.  Voice, feet, mood swings, monstrous appetite, etc.  I am trying to be patient in this, however, it is quite the experience for me.  I have never been a teenage boy.  As usual, when I am overwhelmed I start searching books and magazines for help.  Thus, "The Teen Brain."  I found many pointers that I thought might help those of striving to make a heart connection with our teens. 

The article assured me that if you feel like your teen is unable to remember the slightest instructions, can't keep track of their stuff, and has forgotten all manners you have tried to instill, DO NOT WORRY!  They are perfectly NORMAL - their brain has not completely developed!  I know, hard to believe with all of the other developing going on!  According, to Dr. Doris Trauner, the brain does not complete development until a person reaches his or her mid to late 20's.  The frontal lobe and parietal cortex both are involved in what's known as executive functioning - the ability to perform tasks such as planning, paying attention, and reasoning.  This part does not develop until late teens or early twenties.  "Yes, a child or teenager can plan and remember, but not as well as you would like them to."  Trauner says, "It doesn't mean you shouldn't have expectations.  But if they make mistakes, cut them a little slack." 

I'm sure I am not the only mom out there that feels like I spend too much time nagging about one thing or another.  Here are a few pointers to help our teens avoid brain glitches.

 - Set limits.  Because the teen brain is still developing in response to experience, you can actually help shape it by setting clear limits and providing precise guidelines for what is and is not acceptable.  

(I especially liked this.  I am a big fan of crystal clear details!)

-Model behavior.  This was described in the article as being just as important as setting limits.  The intelligent Dr. Trauner used many big words on this one.  To simplify, I need to act how I want my children to act.  I need to respond to situations in ways that I would want them to respond.  Easier said than done, but as a mother, it is my duty to set the example. 

-Teach cause and effect.  Thinking about possible consequences of our actions before we do them is an important executive function.  A good way to teach your teen this, Trauner says, is to simply list some possible consequences to an action.  Bro. Pamer taught at our church's last marriage retreat.  He talked on something that I will never forget, and that I hope to instill in my boys.  When making decisions, play the movie.  In  other words, imagine how life will be in a few weeks, months, or years.  How is your decision going to effect your life in the long run?  Play the movie!

In the midst of telling my teen to put his clothes in the hamper for the umpteenth time, help him realize that Arithmetic is more important than Xbox,  to respond in a kind way to his brothers even though his emotions are topsy turvy, and the list goes on;  I am going to remind myself to set limits, model behavior, teach cause and effects, and play the movie. 

For those of you that are still in the baby burping stage, do not roll your eyes.  You will be here before you know it!  By the way, I really wish that my dad had known that my brain was not fully developed as a teen when I locked my keys in the car for the zillionth time.  Hmmm, perhaps I am reaping what I have sown!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post THIRTEEN!!!

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

I have enjoyed this journey of 13 blogs about my oldest son. It has taken me back to many moments that I hold close to my heart! I have been thinking about how I want to conclude this “motherly therapy session,” but there are so many things to say that I have had trouble choosing just one. There are a million, trillion little things that I love about Avery; after all I AM his Mom.

If I HAD to choose one thing about Avery that I love, it would have to be his laugh. Ever since he was a tiny guy, he had a great BIG laugh. Not your everyday snicker, but the kind that really tickles the funny bone! Avery’s laugh comes from deep inside, and explodes with boisterous fervor! If you don’t know it is coming, it can be very startling!

Avery and I discussed for several months what we would plan for the big “13.” We tossed several ideas around. He finally decided on a trip to the Comedy Barn with two friends, and then a sleep over. The Comedy Barn is one of the local attractions in Pigeon Forge that we hadn’t yet visited. Avery said he hoped that he laughed until his sides hurt.

He definitely laughed the entire time that we were there! We ALL laughed until our sides hurt. Avery’s deep, loud, unique laugh was music to my ears! He was also happy to get the much desired IPod touch as his birthday gift. It is such a wonderful warm feeling to know that you have made your child happy.

I know that life is going to be full of "ups and downs" and "ins and outs" in the coming teen years. As a mother, I am praying that with the Lord’s help, I can guide Avery through these times to be a man that stands firm in his convictions, loves with his whole heart, and is steadfast in his relationship with the Lord. I pray that the paths in his life, even if they are not easy, help him to grow mentally and spiritually. May he surround himself with friends that want to live holy lives, and may he be the kind of friend that builds others up. It is my hearts desire that Avery seek after a young girl who yearns for the Lord’s will to be done in her life above all else.

I love you, Avery Matthew Presson, may your days be filled with love, happiness and that special laughter that comes from deep within you. May your life produce more joy than you can contain!

Always & forever,
Mama
XOXO

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 12

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

Avery has changed so much in the past several years. My little boy is gone, and has been replaced by a young man. He has a quirky sense of humor that keeps me laughing. He still loves sports. He is a diehard LSU fan. My boy is a straight A student who loves all things History!! His walk with the Lord is strong and steadfast. His energy has not slowed in any form. It has just gone to another level!

One of his top interests right now is his gaming systems. Many years ago, the Englers gave us a Playstation. It was love at first sight for Avery! Next, came a Game Boy thanks to Norman Reid, then the beloved DS, Playstation 2, cell phone, and Wii. Papa Don came for a visit and took the boys to Wal-Mart. They came home with an Xbox. Avery saved his Christmas $$ and bought the Kinect for Xbox. Boy’s toys get more expensive as they grow! He loves playing online against his friends from all over the United States. We are very strict on who we let Avery play online with, and are wanting to do our best to teach Avery sound instincts concerning the internet. Recently, he was playing a football game with a friend that asked if he could invite someone else to their game. I overheard him say, “Just make sure he knows that I won’t keep playing if he cusses. I don’t cuss, and I am not going to listen to anyone else cuss!!” I chuckled at the way he said it with such fervency, but was super proud of him for standing up for what he knows is right.

I know there will come a day, probably sooner than I would like, when I will not be able to oversee his decision making ability. When that day comes, he’ll be making decisions all on his own that I will have little or no influence over. At that point, I pray that I can say that Clark and I have done all that we could do to instill in all of our boys a Godly reverence for what’s right.

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 11

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

Our life took a turn in 2004. A BIG turn. The Lord 100% confirmed to Clark and me, after much prayer and fasting, that we were to move our family to Maryville, TN. It was one of the hardest things for us to do. However, knowing that we were in the perfect will of the Lord, made it doable. It was a HUGE change for Avery, even though he was only six years old. The hardest part for him was leaving his Nana and Papa Presson and favorite cousin Drew, as well as close church friends. He and his Papa were BIG golfing buddies! Nana was his CONSTANT source of entertainment. Whenever he was at her house, he and Riley had her undivided attention. She also took them for weekly trips to the Dollar Store and McDonalds! After the heartache of saying many goodbyes to our Jackson family, Lighthouse church family, and friends, we settled into a brand new city and church.

Avery quickly made new friends. My parents had retired here, so he got to spend time with them, which he loved! His new school was awesome, thought his new 1st grade teacher (Sis. Kirby) was absolutely the coolest, and talked often about the pretty girl he sat by in class (Savannah Coffey). However, six years later he still longs to make more trips to see his grandparents in Jackson, and says that one day he might attend college there. So, I know a part of him will always love his hometown. Roots go deep.

If you have been reading along on this 13 blog journey, you now know that Avery is very energetic. He went though a cart wheel phase. Everywhere we went he turned cartwheels. When I say everywhere, I really do mean everywhere. The aisles in the store, the parking lot, and even in the bathrooms at the restaurants. My main concern was all of the germs getting on his hands! It was a constant “discussion” among the two of us.

One of my main cartwheel memories happened at our new church. Our pastor would ask us to walk to the front of the church to put our offering in the plate. You guessed it, Avery cart- wheeled up the aisle one service on his way to give his offering. Although it was great entertainment for those around us, I failed to find the humor in it! So, off to ladies room we went for much more than a “discussion!” Thankfully, the cartwheel phase soon came to an end.

Soon afterwards, our offering “plates” were changed to offering bags. They are velvet bags with a ring around the top. Avery was a bit fascinated by the new offering bags and one service decided to see if his head would fit in the opening of the bag. In case you are wondering, his head did fit into the bag (and thankfully back out again!). Again, I failed to see the humor, although the usher enjoyed it tremendously. Needless to say, off to the ladies room we went, again!

Life has taken a lot of turns since 2004 when Avery left his “hometown” and I’m sure it will take many more. As a mother of a teenager, I am constantly praying that as he begins to make his own choices and decides for himself which of those turns to make, he will always make the turns that lead him closer to the Lord.

This was taken 2 months after our move.  Avery, 7 - Riley, 4 - Landry 2 months.  It is one of my fav of my 3 little guys!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 10...3 more to go!

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!




There are many moments in motherhood that I would love to remember but day to day life seems to fade the memory. Then there are those memories that are forever stamped on our heart. The births of our children, those first days of school, the baby teeth that are tucked away in a box, and the many x-rays of all of the broken bones…we have several those at our house.


I have one particular memory of Avery that I will never forget. It happened the summer that he was six. As I have mentioned in a previous post, Avery has never had a lack of energy. He played hard and long…all day, every day! Our goal was to run off as much energy as possible before bedtime each night.

One summer afternoon, Avery had exhausted my 3 year old Riley so I carried him into the house to put him down for a nap. It only took a few minutes to get Riley to sleep, and I headed back outside. As I opened the door, I saw my son laying face down in the middle of our busy street. To say that time stood still, my heart stopped beating, or that I felt all of the life drain out of me would NOT be an exaggeration. I instantly started screaming his name and running down our steep driveway. Even as I type, my heart starts to beat faster just thinking about seeing him laying there. I just knew that he had been hit by a car. As soon as I got down to him, I rolled him over. His little batman skateboard was underneath him. He opened his eyes and looked at me, and my heart started beating again. At this point, I was sobbing, looking for blood, and feeling for broken bones.

With a very puzzled look on his face, he told me that he had fallen asleep on his skateboard at the top of the driveway. Apparently, he had rolled down the driveway into the street - all the while sleeping soundly. My legs were shaking so badly that I had to sit in the grass for awhile. I wanted to kiss him and spank him all at the same time. Later that evening, the batman skateboard mysteriously disappeared. Hopefully, it is buried deep in a landfill in Jackson, TN.

Avery has given me other major scares, and I am sure that there are more to come. However, I can only handle blogging about one heart stopping moment at a time.

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 9

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

Avery and school went together like peanut butter and jelly, pancakes and syrup, Bert and Ernie…in other words, he LOVED it. Suddenly, he was in FIRST grade. I am proud to say that I handled it much better than kindergarten. It was also a presidential election year. If you know the Presson men, then you know that they are extremely political. It doesn’t take long for Clark, Uncle Bob, Blair, and Papa Don to get a political conversation going when we are all together.

Avery is, always has been, and always will be 100% Presson! At the young age of six, he stepped into the political storm with much enthusiasm! He knew many details about George W. Bush AND John Kerry, and had formed very strong opinions on each candidate.

The elementary school that he was attending held an election. Avery was super excited over the fact that he was going to get to vote at the young age of six! He even wore a red, white, and blue flag shirt on the appointed day. Each student was allowed to stand and make a statement about the candidate of their choice. Avery was the only one in his first grade class that had an opinion on the matter! He proudly stood and told his young fellow Americans that John Kerry did not believe in God, and that they would go to hell if they did not vote for George W. Bush.

Needless to say, George W. Bush won the presidential election in Mrs. Hill’s 1st Grade Class. Not surprisingly, I received a call from Mrs. Hill asking that I have a talk with my son about dramatically voicing his political opinion. 

Post Script -   All opinions in this article were strictly thought up by Avery Presson and NOT told to him by either his mother or father!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 8

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

If you think I am having a difficult time with one of my boys turning 13 then you should have known me when Avery started kindergarten.  I was a BASKET CASE.  The summer before school started I had myself worked up into a constant stomach ache.  Avery’s school had an all day kindergarten, and the thought of him being out of my sight for that many hours of the day was too much for me to handle.  Other than missing him, I was concerned that someone else, a stranger of all things, would be influencing Avery’s life for that many hours of the day.  Believe me, I thought of every worse case scenario that can possibly be thought of on that long summer before the elementary school years began.  I was one of those Moms that walked him to his classroom everyday with my other toddler in tow.  Avery would BEG me to let him go alone, and I finally gave in 4 months into the school year.  I quickly volunteered to be the homeroom mom and was always one of the first parents in the pick-up line.  I was so happy to see his blonde little head peek out the door at the end of the school day.  I laugh at myself now, but I had serious separation issues.  (maybe I still do, a little bit J)  After a long school year of many lessons learned for me, he graduated and looked beyond adorable in his little hat and tassel.  He received the “best all-around kid” award, and I stood and clapped and screamed louder than any other parent at the awards ceremony.  In a year and a half he will start high school.  Please start fasting and praying for me NOW!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 7

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!




MEMORY #7 - I wrote this post severeal months ago, and want to use it for my 7th post of Avery's 13th birthday.  Click here to read about  Avery's glasses.  SIX more posts!!!  I am determined to finish this!!  :)

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 6

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!



I was the baby of my family; it is a wonderful position to be born in. My sister nearest to my age is ten years older than me, so I never knew about hand-me-downs as a child. However, as a mother I have learned how wonderful they are! I have friends and relatives that pass down bins and bins of outgrown clothes to my sons. They are in excellent condition and such a blessing.

I was sorting through a new bin one day and pulled out a pair of Spiderman jammies. Complete with the webbing under the arms. Avery shrieked in delight and ran to put them on. He proceeded to wear them for weeks and weeks. Not just to bed, but to the grocery store, to the post office, to McDonalds…and anywhere else that our day took us. I did draw the line at wearing them to church!

I am pretty sure he really thought that he was Spiderman when the red web jammies were on. He shot webs everywhere he went, and insisted being called Peter Parker at times. This superhero passion happened during the intense heat of July. Outside was his favorite place to be, so needless to say the jammies got VERY dirty and stinky. At times it was easier to peel them off of him once he was asleep and throw them in the washing machine instead of fighting with him to take them off. I learned early in motherhood to choose my boy battles wisely.

His best neighbor buddy, MacKenzie Brockmeyer, also had a beloved pair of jammies and they both morphed into Spiderman in the late summer evenings. Many hours were spent in our backyards conquering evil villains.

My favorite memory of the Peter Parker persona was the red cowboy boots that were found in the bottom of the box. They were worn right along with the pajamas!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 5

MEMORY #5 - When Avery was 3 years and 9 months old, the biggest event ever in his young life occurred.  He became a BIG brother!  He was so excited, until he saw Riley for the first time and realized that he was too little to play basketball.  However, he soon learned that he had a captive audience to talk and talk and talk and talk to.  Mama and Daddy were so excited because they had another boy to love!  The have been inseperable ever since!  I love the way they have always played together!  Later, he became a big brother for a third and final time.  The only request that he had about Landry was that he be a boy...his wish was granted!

It is official - I am a mother of a teenager! (part 4)

My oldest son, Avery, turns 13 on Monday. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

MEMORY #4 - No one could have prepared me for the energy that is packaged in a boy. It is something that you can not possibly comprehend until you have one…then when you add another boy…and then another boy! Whew.

Avery’s motto from the time that he could walk seemed to be, “Why sit when I can jump? Why stand when I can climb? Why walk when I can run?” He was ALWAYS on the move. It was shocking! At times I wondered if he had some sort of a problem! (I am a worrier.) Then I finally realized that this is simply the way that the Lord made boys, and the only thing to do is smile about it…and really look forward to nap and bed time! I must tell you, it does not get any calmer as they get older, it just changes; but the energy is still there!

Avery seemed to have bumps and bruises all of the time due to all of the jumping, climbing and running. Three weeks before his third Easter he jumped off of the stairs at a store and blackened both of his eyes and bruised his head. I was so worried that they would not be healed by Easter, because Clark would be taking a lot of pictures! Thankfully, they were! However, he and his Daddy were playing the DAY before Easter and Avery was riding a skateboard on his stomach down our steep driveway. At some point the skateboard stopped and he kept going. I think he used his nose and his forehead as a brake. So much for no scrapes or bruises for Easter!

It's official - I am the mother of a teenager - part 3

My oldest son, Avery, turns 13 on Monday. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom! 

Memory #3 – Avery's first word was Da-da, then Ma-ma, then ball-ball.  Everything was pronounced with the first syllable doubled.   Cook-cook (cookie), car-car, cow-cow and so on.  However, the word that we heard the most was ball-ball.  Avery was fascinated with anything that remotely looked like a ball.  I always wanted him to have a favorite stuffed animal that he would want to sleep with and drag everywhere but, no...he always had a ball.  All of our church family thought it was the greatest thing, so they continually bought him balls. There were balls all over my house!  Bro. Chester once bought him a Christmas gift that had 9 balls in it!   At night, he slept with a few of his favorite ball-balls.  After he was asleep, I would sneak in and take them out of his crib.  

When Avery was 18 months old, he fell in love with football.  Monday night football came on, and he would be WILD with excitement.  He would run, jump and tackle everything in sight!  He could barely talk, but could sing the "Are You Ready For Some Football??"  theme song with gusto!  If he did not have a ball, then his imagination kicked in.  He once turned his pacifier into a baseball and "batted" it across the church sanctuary with his wipes container during Bro. Brown's sermon.  

He has never grown out of the love of ball.  You can still sneak into his room at night, and find his favorite football buried somewhere in the covers...just don't tell him I blogged about it!

It is official - I am a mother of a teenager!

"Build me a son, O Lord,

who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,

 and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid,

one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,

and humble and gentle in victory."

I love this quote by Douglas MacArthur. As a mother, I feel such a weighted responsibility to shape my sons into Godly men. Some nights, in sheer exhaustion, I fall asleep knowing I am accomplishing that, and other nights I weep from the feeling of parental failure! However, when I read this quote that begins by asking the LORD to build me a son…it puts it all in perspective that He is the builder and I am a humble tool.

Another favorite quote…

"Between the innocence of babyhood and the dignity of manhood,

we find a delightful creature of a boy."

We aren’t quite hitting the manhood stage in the Presson home yet; however, Avery becomes an official teenager on Monday. It is his golden birthday…13 years old on December 13th. WOW. This saddens me. I know it shouldn’t, but it does. So, take a walk down memory lane with me in the next couple of days as I share my top THIRTEEN memories of my oldest son…He has been the first to teach my every aspect of motherhood. It has been an incredible journey…

MEMORY ONE – I woke Clark up in the wee hours of the morning, six weeks before my due date. I asked him to stay awake with me for a while, because something just didn’t feel right. Of course, he insisted on calling the doctor. The doctor decided I needed to come to the hospital for a check-up. Clark was FURIOUS, LIVID, STOMPING, and RED-FACED, because I was determined to curl my hair before going to the hospital at 2a.m! We had our baby girl clothes packed for Emily Hope and our baby boy clothes packed for Avery Matthew…since we didn’t know which one we would be bringing home. Once we got to Jackson Madison County General Hospital, it was decided that a baby was determined to join us! I have so many memories of that first delivery…some pleasant and others not pleasant.  Thus, I will spare you the details of most. A few of my favorites are… Nana and Papa (my in-laws) had their phone accidentally turned off so we had to contact a neighbor to tell them they had another grandchild on the way. My parents had to drive from Illinois, and I was so excited that they arrived before Avery was born.  Clark decided, when I was dilated to 8, that he wanted a different name other than Avery Matthew if it was a boy. I told him it was too late for name changes!!

At 5:07 p.m. on Saturday, December 13, 1997 our lives were changed forever with the arrival of a tiny 6lb, red faced, blonde headed baby boy. It certainly does not seem like thirteen years ago. Within the hour, my room was full of family and church family that fell in love with my little man the second that they saw him, however, no one was more in love than me.

"There has never been, nor will there ever be,

anything quite as special as the love between a mother and a son."

Glasses and Contacts!

Our baby starts kindergarden this fall. That is all I can say about that right now! However, it brings back memories of our very first kindergarden preparations with Avery. I took him in for his physical, and we found out that Avery had VERY POOR eyesight! This was a shock to me, because he never gave any indication whatsoever that he was struggling with this! The most shocking thing of all is that Avery is pretty much blind in his left eye! I felt like a horrible mother for not knowing this for the first FIVE years of Avery's life! He was such a cutie in his new glasses.
It was a whole new world for him. The day he got his glasses we drove to Nashville for camp meeting. He read EVERY SINGLE mile marker between Jackson and Nashville. He was so excited, because he said he did not realize the signs had numbers on them!! Again, felt like a horrible mama. He wore his glasses 24/7. We would have to go in his room at night and slip them off.


We also had six weeks of patching his right eye in hopes of waking that left eye up! Patching - Is - Not - Fun. Especially with a busier than busy boy!


His favorite patch was his "pirate" patch...


I was so thankful when the patching was over. It did help the left eye a little bit. Thus began the many years of broken glasses, frames bent beyond recognition, weekly trips to the eyedoctor to get re-adjustments, and so on. Speed up time SEVEN years...and we now have CONTACTS...and instead of starting kindergarden, we are starting seventh grade! I am proud of my oldest son. He keeps life exciting, he scares me to death because he never looks before he leaps in any of life's circumstances! I am prayerfully looking forward to the next phase of Avery's life!