The Servant

A late Mother's Day post...Motherhood is my favorite thing to do in all the world.  However, at times it is exhausting, heartbreaking, and messy.  I am thankful the Lord can take even my failures as a mom and turn them into miracles!  

She cleaned up milk for the third time that morning. The baby had been teething all night and was crying in his crib. The breakfast dishes were in the sink, and the fire needed to be replenished. Her oldest was out chopping wood, so she could get the bread baked for the next meal. Exhaustion filled every fiber of her being. Her "to do list" was an impossibility. Of all days, Matthius, her husband had been called to the temple for a meeting. That meant she would be responsible for the outside chores, as well.

A cool breeze floated through her Bethsaida home. She sat down for a moment to enjoy it and rest her aching feet. The baby had stopped crying, and she closed her eyes in the stillness. However, the quietness lasted only a second. "Mama, come quickly. We must hurry!" The voice of Joshua, her oldest son, came through the window. He was flushed, breathless, and full of boyish excitement. "Let's go, Mama. He is here, in our town! I have heard so much about him! Oh, I can't wait until he speaks to the crowd." His energy level made her feel even more exhausted. "Joshua, slow down! Tell me, who is here? What is so special about this man?" Joshua answered, "Jesus of Nazareth! He is the prophet that father has been telling us about, the wise one that knows all things. The crowd is gathering! Hurry, Mama!"

A peaceful afternoon on the hillside sounded wonderful! Sadly, she looked around at all the things needing to be done. The chores inside the house were mounting, and the animals outside needed tending. The baby's stubborn new teeth were causing a fever. She looked at her flushed first born. Oh, how she loved him. He was born with the gift of a generous heart. She knew from the moment she saw him that Jehovah had great plans for him. Now he had an opportunity to learn from the great Rabbi. How could she refuse him?

"Son, I can not go. A mother's job is never done. I will allow you to go if you stay with the crowd. Do not wander off." Joyfully, he went running toward the door, "Thank you, Mama! Thank you!" She laughed and told him to wait just a moment, so she could fix him a lunch. After all, breakfast was several hours ago, and she knew what an appetite her hungry boy had. "Hurry, Mama! I do not want to miss one word that Jesus says!" She quickly packed him a lunch of five small loaves of leftover breakfast bread and two small fish. With a quick peck on the cheek, he was out the door.

She watched his bare feet stir up the dust as he ran to meet a group of boys. With a heavy heart she went to the well for water to wash the breakfast dishes. The sun rose in the sky as she accomplished her tasks for the day. Thankfully, the baby's teeth broke through, so he wasn't as fussy as the night before. She began to wonder when motherhood had turned to servanthood. She was so excited with the knowledge of each new baby added to their family. But, with each bundle came more responsibility. Every day was filled before the sun rose. Each night ended with tasks left undone.

As a young Jewish girl, she felt she had a great mission to fulfill. She longed to be a part of a miracle, to fulfill the will of Jehovah. There were times when she felt so close to Him. Now, when she had a moment to give Him, she just fell asleep in exhaustion. Long ago, she had talents to offer. Now her talents consisted of preparing meals, washing laundry, and collecting eggs from her hens. Her frustration seemed to mount on the days that her family went to the temple. Her husband sat with the Rabbis, leaving her to tend to the restless children. Many days, she had to take the baby outside the temple gates during the reading of the scrolls. Often, she wondered why she bothered going at all! So much for her being a part of a miracle.

She heard a commotion in the midst of the village, as she carried laundry out to dry in the late afternoon sun. Everyone was talking and several of the ladies were carrying large baskets. She ran to see what had caused the excitement. The baskets were filled with fresh baked bread and others were filled with delicious fish! Such bountiful blessings! She asked one of the elderly ladies in the village, "But, where did it all come from?"

She received answers at once from every direction.

"There were thousands of us on the hillside."

"We were mesmerized by this man called Jesus! I felt such peace while sitting at his feet!"

"We were so enthralled that we didn't realize how hungry we were!"

"There was a boy from this very village that gave his lunch to the great Rabbi."

"Jesus, blessed the boy's lunch and began to break it. The more he divided it, the more plentiful the lunch!"

"It was a miracle, one like I have never seen before!"

"Jesus fed over 5,000 of us with one generous boy's lunch!"

The busy mother began to feel her exhaustion slip from her. With breathless excitement, she asked if the lunch originally had five loaves and two fish. "Yes," a friend said, "that is the one!" Her tired feet began to run with renewed energy towards the hillside. She knew that bread had baked in her very own stone oven. As she made her way out of the village, she counted twelve baskets of leftovers! Her Joshua was a part of the miracle. His generous heart was used by Jesus! She wanted Jesus to know who she was. She was the mama of the generous boy. She made the miracle lunch! He must know!

As she ran, she repented of her earlier frustrations. The servanthood of motherhood was not a burden. What a beautiful reminder this miracle was! Everyday, mundane moments are merely opportunities to serve her children with the love of God. This love will one day shape their own hearts to serve. More importantly, they will be used in His kingdom to make a difference, to be a part of the miracle. There is no greater calling than to serve the ones the Lord gave especially to her. Deep inside her heart she knew Jehovah blessed her when she served. She knew she was her happiest when she poured her heart into her family.

The hillside was crowded. She knew who Jesus was the second she saw Him. There was a special presence about him, although he looked like the other men. In frustration, she pushed though the crowd, but could not reach him. He was getting into a boat and leaving. The people were wading into the water, trying to touch him. As loudly as she could, she called his name. The wind whipped her voice away and hid it in the midst of the people. And yet, he turned and looked straight at her. His eyes looked deeply into her soul. He smiled. She was the boy's mama that he chose to use that day. There were even greater things in store for her son, because of the things she had instilled in him. He saw her daily acts of servanthood and turned them into a miracle. Jesus knew, that like him, she was called to serve.

A Misunderstood Mother - The Witness Mother's Day Article

Happy Mother's Day!  I had a good one.  Actually, it started last week, heehee, thanks to my eager husband.  But, that is another blog for another time.  Sis. Carpenter, the ALJC Ladies President and the first lady of our church asked me to write a Mother's Day article for the magazine, The Witness.  There are other articles that you might enjoy reading that can be found here http://aljc.org/apostolic-witness-archives/.  I had some peeps that love me ask me to post it on my blog.  I am thankful that the Lord chose me to be the Mama/Mom to Avery, Riley, Landry, and Isabella.  Motherhood is the only job that I have EVER wanted! Even though it is a more than full-time job with no vacation days,  nothing can compare to it!

 

A Misunderstood Mother

It still hurts to talk about that long ago day. The anguish comes rushing back, my eyes fill, each breath causes pain. The shock on my husband’s face when he heard about the oxen was heartbreaking. Then we heard about the sheep, camels, crops, and servants. Gone. It seemed impossible. My husband was a perfect and upright man that feared the Lord. How could this be happening? However, the servant's voice grew dim, as yet another servant ran into the room. “Sir, I am sorry, but your ten children...all are gone”. The room swayed, the sound of my screaming was deafening to my own ears. Our ten children were dead? I could not take it in. Ten times I had endured the pain of childbirth, only to have it forgotten as each new baby was placed into my arms. Ten lives nurtured to love, honor and respect Jehovah. Now, only ten freshly dug graves. My very existence as a mother had vanished. Each waking thought had always been about my ten treasures. What would I cook for dinner? Were their clothes washed and tidy? Would the life lessons Job and I tried to teach sink in? Now what was I to do? My purpose for living was gone. Grief was my constant friend.

Weeping, I found comfort in the arms of my husband, but not for long. Job suddenly became very ill. I feared for his life. I begged Jehovah not to take him from me also. I felt as if Satan was seeking to destroy us. Our luxuries were gone. I was begging for bread in the city gates, and now Job was suffering beyond anything I had ever seen. Each night, his cries of agony mingled with my groans of grief. Day after day he experienced acute sicknesses. Again, I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do to ease the pain of my husband. Finally, in the midst of longing for my children and desiring relief for Job, I uttered the words that I would give anything to take back. Words spoken at the lowest point of my life, forever recorded in history and indelibly burned into my memory - “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9 NIV)

I wanted to rewind the moment. What had I said? I had spoken so cruelly while trying to hold onto a thin line of remaining sanity. I saw my husbands eyes fill with more pain. He reached for me, tried to console me with his disease-ravaged hands. "You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" (Job 2:10 NIV). Those around thought that he had rebuked me, but I know my husband's love. He did not say I was foolish. He said I sounded like one of the foolish women. In other words, “Honey, you do not sound like yourself. It is the grief and suffering that is speaking for my steady, faithful wife. Let's remember God's promises. Let's remember his goodness to us even during this trial.”

However, those around misunderstood me. They criticized and looked past my grief-stricken heart and called it a heart of stone. My arms were empty of my children. I could feel Satan fighting every second of every day, and now this terrible misunderstanding. I came to realize the power of the spoken word. I had added one more wound to the many already inflicting Job. I can not say that I felt Jehovah's presence, but I do know that I did not feel his rebuke. Surely, if God was displeased with me he would have told me. He certainly did not hesitate to rebuke Job's friends. (Job 42:7-9) Even if Job forgave me, I was unable to forgive myself. Jehovah willing, Job’s wounds would heal, but the wound from my words would never be forgotten. The scar that I would take from this trial would be the scar of being forever misunderstood.

Our sufferings lasted for almost a year. I steadfastly cared for my husband, trying my best to make him comfortable. I joyfully recall the day that I saw some of the pain leave his eyes. The day he asked me to put away the potsherd pieces that he had scraped his sores with was a day of rejoicing. I slowly felt Satan's hold on us slip away, and in its place the warmth of Jehovah's presence filled my home again. Job and I were able to look back at the wonderful memories of our ten children and smile. However, the day that will forever be etched in my heart is the day that Job felt well enough to wrap me in his arms. Oh, how I had missed his touch, needed his touch. I no longer felt misunderstood, I felt redeemed.

Our family and friends began to gather. They brought gifts of silver and gold. Our flocks began to multiply. Job was able to rebuild and Jehovah's blessings were upon us. I shared in the experience of the doubling of our wealth. Even though I was the one that had wounded with words, I still partook of the blessings. One beautiful, glorious day, I felt the movement of a child in my womb. I knew then the heart of my home had begun to beat again. Jehovah blessed me nine other times afterwards. Me, the misunderstood wound-maker, was given ten of the most beautiful children in all the land. Job and I lived long and saw four generations of offspring. Our end was greater than our beginning.

As women, we love a happy ending and the story of Job is just that! Also, as women we sometimes speak with our minds instead of our hearts. Proverbs perfectly states that the tongue is mightier than the sword. Job's wife found this to be true, and so have each of us, time and time again. Our schedules get busy, our lives become unorganized, debt piles up, and sleep evades us. So what do we do? We wound with our words. Sadly, we usually speak in haste to those around us whom we love the most. As soon as the words are spoken, we are filled with regret. With the Lord's help, we understand we are not vicious or bitter people, and thankfully His forgiveness can heal misunderstandings.

Perhaps you have not been the one that has inflicted pain with your words, but you have been the wounded one. Words cut deep into our heart and our memory. They seem to resurface at the oddest times and continue to cause pain, sometimes years later. Job has taught us many lessons, but perhaps the greatest lesson of all is that Job became intimate with one who wounded him. In his tragedy he found triumph. Not on his own, but with the help of his misunderstood wife. Job's story proves to us that Satan is the author of all misery and that God’s grace is more than enough to support us through any trial. But the ending might not have been a happy one if Job had not been willing to get close to the one who had wounded him.

What new chapter could be written in your life today if you were able to become close to the one that wounded you? What burden could be lifted if you cleared out the misunderstandings of life, and began afresh and anew? No, Job’s wife never forgot that day when things fell apart in her life and when she spoke from her grief, but she also refused to let that moment define the rest of her life. As women, may we always pray King David’s prayer in Psalms 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.”

Boy's Burps and Brains

The waiting room at the doctor's office was busy, as usual. A young couple walked in with a brand new baby boy. He was adorable. His parents thought so too! They were very much in love with one another and their newest addition. Every few seconds they would kiss his soft pink cheeks and then kiss each other! You could certainly feel the love. The little guy made a tiny groan and instantly a bottle was produced from the very organized diaper bag. After a few minutes of more kissing, snuggling, and feeding, it was time for a burp. The new dad patted and patted the tiny back, but no burp. The new parents became very anxious that their little bundle was not burping! The dad begin to walk the floor and pat him on the back. Then the pretty new mom, with her burp cloth perfectly positioned tried to coax out the burp to no avail. By this time, the whole waiting room was anticipating the burp! Finally, the dad tried once more, and the little guy let out a big, manly burp! The entire room breathed a sigh of relief. The parents promptly began rejoicing as if their boy finished his first marathon. More kissing and hugging ensued.

I couldn't help but smile. There is nothing as special as that first baby feeling! It is a life-changing, eye-opening, never forgotten moment. I looked down at the magazine article I had been engrossed in before the butterfly kisses family had joined the office waiting game. "The Teen Brain." I glanced over at the couple again, and sighed. I was far from the new born experiences, yet it didn't seem like it was that long ago. 

My oldest is a few months away from fourteen.  He is experiencing daily changes.  Voice, feet, mood swings, monstrous appetite, etc.  I am trying to be patient in this, however, it is quite the experience for me.  I have never been a teenage boy.  As usual, when I am overwhelmed I start searching books and magazines for help.  Thus, "The Teen Brain."  I found many pointers that I thought might help those of striving to make a heart connection with our teens. 

The article assured me that if you feel like your teen is unable to remember the slightest instructions, can't keep track of their stuff, and has forgotten all manners you have tried to instill, DO NOT WORRY!  They are perfectly NORMAL - their brain has not completely developed!  I know, hard to believe with all of the other developing going on!  According, to Dr. Doris Trauner, the brain does not complete development until a person reaches his or her mid to late 20's.  The frontal lobe and parietal cortex both are involved in what's known as executive functioning - the ability to perform tasks such as planning, paying attention, and reasoning.  This part does not develop until late teens or early twenties.  "Yes, a child or teenager can plan and remember, but not as well as you would like them to."  Trauner says, "It doesn't mean you shouldn't have expectations.  But if they make mistakes, cut them a little slack." 

I'm sure I am not the only mom out there that feels like I spend too much time nagging about one thing or another.  Here are a few pointers to help our teens avoid brain glitches.

 - Set limits.  Because the teen brain is still developing in response to experience, you can actually help shape it by setting clear limits and providing precise guidelines for what is and is not acceptable.  

(I especially liked this.  I am a big fan of crystal clear details!)

-Model behavior.  This was described in the article as being just as important as setting limits.  The intelligent Dr. Trauner used many big words on this one.  To simplify, I need to act how I want my children to act.  I need to respond to situations in ways that I would want them to respond.  Easier said than done, but as a mother, it is my duty to set the example. 

-Teach cause and effect.  Thinking about possible consequences of our actions before we do them is an important executive function.  A good way to teach your teen this, Trauner says, is to simply list some possible consequences to an action.  Bro. Pamer taught at our church's last marriage retreat.  He talked on something that I will never forget, and that I hope to instill in my boys.  When making decisions, play the movie.  In  other words, imagine how life will be in a few weeks, months, or years.  How is your decision going to effect your life in the long run?  Play the movie!

In the midst of telling my teen to put his clothes in the hamper for the umpteenth time, help him realize that Arithmetic is more important than Xbox,  to respond in a kind way to his brothers even though his emotions are topsy turvy, and the list goes on;  I am going to remind myself to set limits, model behavior, teach cause and effects, and play the movie. 

For those of you that are still in the baby burping stage, do not roll your eyes.  You will be here before you know it!  By the way, I really wish that my dad had known that my brain was not fully developed as a teen when I locked my keys in the car for the zillionth time.  Hmmm, perhaps I am reaping what I have sown!

A Highest Calling

I have been privileged to be asked to write the Mother's Day article for a particular magazine for the past three years.  The previous year's articles can be found here and here.  The following is the 2011 article.  Hope everyone is having a wonderful MAY!  Today is a chilly May day for Tennessee!  The boys and I are hoping warmer weather comes SOON, since summer break is one week away!

I have a high calling. I am not a world leader, I do not pastor a church, nor have I been called to the mission field. I am a mother. Today, more than ever before, mothers need to understand that we hold a high position in God’s kingdom. Training, nurturing, and teaching children God’s Word and His ways are perhaps the most important jobs on the face of the earth. As mothers, it is our responsibility to hand off the baton of the gospel to our children who will then take it to all nations.

I hold the highest respect for those of us called mothers. Dr. Dobson, a well-known Christian psychologist, said that there are few assignments in any human experience that require the array of skills and wisdom needed by a mom in fulfilling her everyday duties. She must be a resident psychologist, physician, theologian, educator, nurse, chef, taxi driver, fire marshal, and occasional police officer. Success in these responsibilities means we get to do it all over again…tomorrow!

Much has been said about the influence of mothers throughout history – everything from, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world,” or “The single most powerful word in any given language is ‘Mother’.” But my all time favorite is, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” It might be a comical statement, but truer words were never spoken! Mom, you set the tone for your home and we have tremendous influence over the moods, actions, and lives of everyone who calls us mother. You have no choice about whether or not you are an influence – the choice is what TYPE of influence you will be. Your actions and words will either shape your child for good or for bad.

I was studying the book of 2 Kings, and I kept running across a common thread. Every time a new king was mentioned, it read like this…

2 Kings 12:1-2 “In the 7th year of Jehu, Jehoash began to reign, and his mothers

name was Zibiah…and Jehoash did that which was right in the sight of the Lord.”

2 Kings 14:1-3 “In the 2nd year reigned Amaziah , King of Judah, and his

mothers name was Jehoadden, and he did that which was right in the eyes of the

Lord.”

2 Kings 21:2, “Mannesseh reigned 55 years in Jerusalem, His mothers name was

Hephzibah, and he did that which was evil in the sight of the Lord.”

These scriptures have almost identical characteristics. The king’s name is mentioned, his mothers name is mentioned, and then it tells if he was good or evil. I began to search to see if these mothers were mentioned elsewhere in the Bible, but they were not to be found. That was their one claim to fame. I began to question, why were they mentioned? What was the point other than a record of the genealogy? Perhaps the kind of King that these men turned out to be was directly related to the type of mother that was raising them. And a record of their deeds was forever written down in history.

Were these kings taught, trained, and nurtured in the ways of the Lord? Were these mothers the type that built up her children with words of kindness and encouragement? Or was the way that they spoke to their children a result of what had happened at work that day, or the pressure they were under due to life not going the way they had intended?

We as mothers are to be encouragers of our children. The way we speak will have so much impact on them. I often find myself wanting so much for my sons that I am continually correcting and scolding. During any given day the commands can run the gamete, “Don’t run in the house!”, “Redo this homework with neater handwriting!”, “Get along with your brothers!”, “Don’t swing on the ceiling fan!”, “Say yes ma’am and yes sir!” With so much reprimanding and scolding, I can get so caught up in correcting the negativity that I forget to praise the positive. Praising the positive is like building blocks to our children’s self esteem. What are we speaking into the lives of our children? Are we speaking positive things of love, praise and kindness? Or are we speaking negative words of anger, bitterness, and stress? A famous proverb says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grevious words stir up anger.” The Message Bible says it this way, “A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.”

King Josiah is my favorite King that is mentioned in the book of 2 Kings. He was a good king. He did what was right in the sight of the Lord. And yes, his mother’s name is mentioned. He is my favorite because he became king at the young age of eight years old. The awesome thing about Josiah is that all of his goodness was established before he became king. This proves to us the necessity of setting the tone in our home when our children are young. His mother succeeded in doing this at an early age so that greatness could come from her son’s life!

Dear Mom, Mama, Mommy or Mother, let the tone of your home be set with kindness, calmness and love. Let it be filled with warmth, grace, forgiveness and fun! You may be exhausted from feeding a crying baby in the middle of the night. You might be shocked by the 2 year old that constantly questions your authority. You might be overwhelmed with the changing teenager that now lives in your home. Never forget that God sees your sacrifices. He will reward you. Enjoy every stage of motherhood from rocking your newborn to making a heart connection with your precious teenager. It is your responsibility, with the Lord’s help, to make sure that your home is a place that everyone wants to come home to at the end of the day.

God chose you to raise your children and not another. He gave you the highest calling. When you accept this highest calling and take it to heart, the fruits of your labor will, in the end, rise and give you praise!

Happy Mother's Day!  This is such a special day to me! I am so thankful for the Godly mother-in-law AND Godly mother that I have been blessed with. My mom has always made every circumstance in my life special. She has been my biggest cheerleader. According to her, there isn’t anything that my brother, sisters and now grandchildren can not do. Her favorite comments about her grandkids is, “They are so talented!” I honor her today for who she is in my life. She is my measuring stick for the mother I am trying to be.

A recent sermon brought to mind a game that many girls play with a folded piece of paper.  It "foretells" if you will grow up to  live in a mansion or a shack, and who you will marry. The preacher talked of girls who made long lists of their dreams. I was SO one of those girls.  I still have spiral bound notebooks boxed away of lists that held my dreams. When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my immediate answer was, “A wife and mother.” I attended public school. I was the only Apostolic in my high school of about 400. I was known as the girl who always wore a skirt-even in gym class. We would periodically have sessions with our counselors concerning our career goals. I would try to explain that I simply wanted to be a homemaker and assist my pastor in any necessary duties. Since I went to a public school this was highly disturbing to them. I also had on my “list” that I would marry a wealthy man with black hair, and have three girls with black curly hair and pink hair bows. Thankfully, I accomplished one of the three goals. I did find a husband with black hair. I missed out on the wealthy part and the three little girls with black curly hair. However, I have been blessed with a Godly, hard working husband and three healthy boys. Perhaps lists aren't so important after all.

A friend and I were watching my son practice in for an upcoming school production.  She commented on how intent he was on his special part.  I mentioned that he is my most emotional son.  She smiled and said, "He will make a wonderful husband."  I laughed at her comment, and responded, "I hope all of my boys make wonderful husbands." 

Later, that comment slammed into my heart, and I began to think how much drastically my methods of motherhood need to be changing.  I am moving into a new season of mothering.  Especially with Avery, and soon for Riley.  I no longer need to focus on training them to be well-mannered boys, but powerful men of God who will someday marry wives and raise families to be active in the work of the Lord.  The advesary will soon begin to try new tactics to sway the souls of the three the Lord has given to me.  My prayers must become more frequent, more fervent.  My goal - to focus on the changing seasons of babes to boys to men.

 Ann Voskamp posted a powerful quote this week. 
It takes all the years of making a boy into a man -

to teach a woman how to be a mother.

My boys are continually changing, teaching me to be a better mother.  I will never receive a diploma in this education of motherhood, because my lessons are never ending.  My prayer...lead me Lord, guide my words, my actions, so that above all else they see YOU in me, so they will desire YOU in them. 

Happy Mother's Day to all! 

May you have a wonderful day celebrating this highest calling!

...just wanted to share of few of those fleeting, precious moments

 that we wish we could push the pause button...



It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post THIRTEEN!!!

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

I have enjoyed this journey of 13 blogs about my oldest son. It has taken me back to many moments that I hold close to my heart! I have been thinking about how I want to conclude this “motherly therapy session,” but there are so many things to say that I have had trouble choosing just one. There are a million, trillion little things that I love about Avery; after all I AM his Mom.

If I HAD to choose one thing about Avery that I love, it would have to be his laugh. Ever since he was a tiny guy, he had a great BIG laugh. Not your everyday snicker, but the kind that really tickles the funny bone! Avery’s laugh comes from deep inside, and explodes with boisterous fervor! If you don’t know it is coming, it can be very startling!

Avery and I discussed for several months what we would plan for the big “13.” We tossed several ideas around. He finally decided on a trip to the Comedy Barn with two friends, and then a sleep over. The Comedy Barn is one of the local attractions in Pigeon Forge that we hadn’t yet visited. Avery said he hoped that he laughed until his sides hurt.

He definitely laughed the entire time that we were there! We ALL laughed until our sides hurt. Avery’s deep, loud, unique laugh was music to my ears! He was also happy to get the much desired IPod touch as his birthday gift. It is such a wonderful warm feeling to know that you have made your child happy.

I know that life is going to be full of "ups and downs" and "ins and outs" in the coming teen years. As a mother, I am praying that with the Lord’s help, I can guide Avery through these times to be a man that stands firm in his convictions, loves with his whole heart, and is steadfast in his relationship with the Lord. I pray that the paths in his life, even if they are not easy, help him to grow mentally and spiritually. May he surround himself with friends that want to live holy lives, and may he be the kind of friend that builds others up. It is my hearts desire that Avery seek after a young girl who yearns for the Lord’s will to be done in her life above all else.

I love you, Avery Matthew Presson, may your days be filled with love, happiness and that special laughter that comes from deep within you. May your life produce more joy than you can contain!

Always & forever,
Mama
XOXO

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 12

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

Avery has changed so much in the past several years. My little boy is gone, and has been replaced by a young man. He has a quirky sense of humor that keeps me laughing. He still loves sports. He is a diehard LSU fan. My boy is a straight A student who loves all things History!! His walk with the Lord is strong and steadfast. His energy has not slowed in any form. It has just gone to another level!

One of his top interests right now is his gaming systems. Many years ago, the Englers gave us a Playstation. It was love at first sight for Avery! Next, came a Game Boy thanks to Norman Reid, then the beloved DS, Playstation 2, cell phone, and Wii. Papa Don came for a visit and took the boys to Wal-Mart. They came home with an Xbox. Avery saved his Christmas $$ and bought the Kinect for Xbox. Boy’s toys get more expensive as they grow! He loves playing online against his friends from all over the United States. We are very strict on who we let Avery play online with, and are wanting to do our best to teach Avery sound instincts concerning the internet. Recently, he was playing a football game with a friend that asked if he could invite someone else to their game. I overheard him say, “Just make sure he knows that I won’t keep playing if he cusses. I don’t cuss, and I am not going to listen to anyone else cuss!!” I chuckled at the way he said it with such fervency, but was super proud of him for standing up for what he knows is right.

I know there will come a day, probably sooner than I would like, when I will not be able to oversee his decision making ability. When that day comes, he’ll be making decisions all on his own that I will have little or no influence over. At that point, I pray that I can say that Clark and I have done all that we could do to instill in all of our boys a Godly reverence for what’s right.

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 11

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

Our life took a turn in 2004. A BIG turn. The Lord 100% confirmed to Clark and me, after much prayer and fasting, that we were to move our family to Maryville, TN. It was one of the hardest things for us to do. However, knowing that we were in the perfect will of the Lord, made it doable. It was a HUGE change for Avery, even though he was only six years old. The hardest part for him was leaving his Nana and Papa Presson and favorite cousin Drew, as well as close church friends. He and his Papa were BIG golfing buddies! Nana was his CONSTANT source of entertainment. Whenever he was at her house, he and Riley had her undivided attention. She also took them for weekly trips to the Dollar Store and McDonalds! After the heartache of saying many goodbyes to our Jackson family, Lighthouse church family, and friends, we settled into a brand new city and church.

Avery quickly made new friends. My parents had retired here, so he got to spend time with them, which he loved! His new school was awesome, thought his new 1st grade teacher (Sis. Kirby) was absolutely the coolest, and talked often about the pretty girl he sat by in class (Savannah Coffey). However, six years later he still longs to make more trips to see his grandparents in Jackson, and says that one day he might attend college there. So, I know a part of him will always love his hometown. Roots go deep.

If you have been reading along on this 13 blog journey, you now know that Avery is very energetic. He went though a cart wheel phase. Everywhere we went he turned cartwheels. When I say everywhere, I really do mean everywhere. The aisles in the store, the parking lot, and even in the bathrooms at the restaurants. My main concern was all of the germs getting on his hands! It was a constant “discussion” among the two of us.

One of my main cartwheel memories happened at our new church. Our pastor would ask us to walk to the front of the church to put our offering in the plate. You guessed it, Avery cart- wheeled up the aisle one service on his way to give his offering. Although it was great entertainment for those around us, I failed to find the humor in it! So, off to ladies room we went for much more than a “discussion!” Thankfully, the cartwheel phase soon came to an end.

Soon afterwards, our offering “plates” were changed to offering bags. They are velvet bags with a ring around the top. Avery was a bit fascinated by the new offering bags and one service decided to see if his head would fit in the opening of the bag. In case you are wondering, his head did fit into the bag (and thankfully back out again!). Again, I failed to see the humor, although the usher enjoyed it tremendously. Needless to say, off to the ladies room we went, again!

Life has taken a lot of turns since 2004 when Avery left his “hometown” and I’m sure it will take many more. As a mother of a teenager, I am constantly praying that as he begins to make his own choices and decides for himself which of those turns to make, he will always make the turns that lead him closer to the Lord.

This was taken 2 months after our move.  Avery, 7 - Riley, 4 - Landry 2 months.  It is one of my fav of my 3 little guys!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 10...3 more to go!

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!




There are many moments in motherhood that I would love to remember but day to day life seems to fade the memory. Then there are those memories that are forever stamped on our heart. The births of our children, those first days of school, the baby teeth that are tucked away in a box, and the many x-rays of all of the broken bones…we have several those at our house.


I have one particular memory of Avery that I will never forget. It happened the summer that he was six. As I have mentioned in a previous post, Avery has never had a lack of energy. He played hard and long…all day, every day! Our goal was to run off as much energy as possible before bedtime each night.

One summer afternoon, Avery had exhausted my 3 year old Riley so I carried him into the house to put him down for a nap. It only took a few minutes to get Riley to sleep, and I headed back outside. As I opened the door, I saw my son laying face down in the middle of our busy street. To say that time stood still, my heart stopped beating, or that I felt all of the life drain out of me would NOT be an exaggeration. I instantly started screaming his name and running down our steep driveway. Even as I type, my heart starts to beat faster just thinking about seeing him laying there. I just knew that he had been hit by a car. As soon as I got down to him, I rolled him over. His little batman skateboard was underneath him. He opened his eyes and looked at me, and my heart started beating again. At this point, I was sobbing, looking for blood, and feeling for broken bones.

With a very puzzled look on his face, he told me that he had fallen asleep on his skateboard at the top of the driveway. Apparently, he had rolled down the driveway into the street - all the while sleeping soundly. My legs were shaking so badly that I had to sit in the grass for awhile. I wanted to kiss him and spank him all at the same time. Later that evening, the batman skateboard mysteriously disappeared. Hopefully, it is buried deep in a landfill in Jackson, TN.

Avery has given me other major scares, and I am sure that there are more to come. However, I can only handle blogging about one heart stopping moment at a time.

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 9

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

Avery and school went together like peanut butter and jelly, pancakes and syrup, Bert and Ernie…in other words, he LOVED it. Suddenly, he was in FIRST grade. I am proud to say that I handled it much better than kindergarten. It was also a presidential election year. If you know the Presson men, then you know that they are extremely political. It doesn’t take long for Clark, Uncle Bob, Blair, and Papa Don to get a political conversation going when we are all together.

Avery is, always has been, and always will be 100% Presson! At the young age of six, he stepped into the political storm with much enthusiasm! He knew many details about George W. Bush AND John Kerry, and had formed very strong opinions on each candidate.

The elementary school that he was attending held an election. Avery was super excited over the fact that he was going to get to vote at the young age of six! He even wore a red, white, and blue flag shirt on the appointed day. Each student was allowed to stand and make a statement about the candidate of their choice. Avery was the only one in his first grade class that had an opinion on the matter! He proudly stood and told his young fellow Americans that John Kerry did not believe in God, and that they would go to hell if they did not vote for George W. Bush.

Needless to say, George W. Bush won the presidential election in Mrs. Hill’s 1st Grade Class. Not surprisingly, I received a call from Mrs. Hill asking that I have a talk with my son about dramatically voicing his political opinion. 

Post Script -   All opinions in this article were strictly thought up by Avery Presson and NOT told to him by either his mother or father!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 8

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

If you think I am having a difficult time with one of my boys turning 13 then you should have known me when Avery started kindergarten.  I was a BASKET CASE.  The summer before school started I had myself worked up into a constant stomach ache.  Avery’s school had an all day kindergarten, and the thought of him being out of my sight for that many hours of the day was too much for me to handle.  Other than missing him, I was concerned that someone else, a stranger of all things, would be influencing Avery’s life for that many hours of the day.  Believe me, I thought of every worse case scenario that can possibly be thought of on that long summer before the elementary school years began.  I was one of those Moms that walked him to his classroom everyday with my other toddler in tow.  Avery would BEG me to let him go alone, and I finally gave in 4 months into the school year.  I quickly volunteered to be the homeroom mom and was always one of the first parents in the pick-up line.  I was so happy to see his blonde little head peek out the door at the end of the school day.  I laugh at myself now, but I had serious separation issues.  (maybe I still do, a little bit J)  After a long school year of many lessons learned for me, he graduated and looked beyond adorable in his little hat and tassel.  He received the “best all-around kid” award, and I stood and clapped and screamed louder than any other parent at the awards ceremony.  In a year and a half he will start high school.  Please start fasting and praying for me NOW!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 7

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!




MEMORY #7 - I wrote this post severeal months ago, and want to use it for my 7th post of Avery's 13th birthday.  Click here to read about  Avery's glasses.  SIX more posts!!!  I am determined to finish this!!  :)

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 6

My oldest son, Avery, turned 13 on December 13th. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!



I was the baby of my family; it is a wonderful position to be born in. My sister nearest to my age is ten years older than me, so I never knew about hand-me-downs as a child. However, as a mother I have learned how wonderful they are! I have friends and relatives that pass down bins and bins of outgrown clothes to my sons. They are in excellent condition and such a blessing.

I was sorting through a new bin one day and pulled out a pair of Spiderman jammies. Complete with the webbing under the arms. Avery shrieked in delight and ran to put them on. He proceeded to wear them for weeks and weeks. Not just to bed, but to the grocery store, to the post office, to McDonalds…and anywhere else that our day took us. I did draw the line at wearing them to church!

I am pretty sure he really thought that he was Spiderman when the red web jammies were on. He shot webs everywhere he went, and insisted being called Peter Parker at times. This superhero passion happened during the intense heat of July. Outside was his favorite place to be, so needless to say the jammies got VERY dirty and stinky. At times it was easier to peel them off of him once he was asleep and throw them in the washing machine instead of fighting with him to take them off. I learned early in motherhood to choose my boy battles wisely.

His best neighbor buddy, MacKenzie Brockmeyer, also had a beloved pair of jammies and they both morphed into Spiderman in the late summer evenings. Many hours were spent in our backyards conquering evil villains.

My favorite memory of the Peter Parker persona was the red cowboy boots that were found in the bottom of the box. They were worn right along with the pajamas!

It is official - I am the Mom of a teenager - post 5

MEMORY #5 - When Avery was 3 years and 9 months old, the biggest event ever in his young life occurred.  He became a BIG brother!  He was so excited, until he saw Riley for the first time and realized that he was too little to play basketball.  However, he soon learned that he had a captive audience to talk and talk and talk and talk to.  Mama and Daddy were so excited because they had another boy to love!  The have been inseperable ever since!  I love the way they have always played together!  Later, he became a big brother for a third and final time.  The only request that he had about Landry was that he be a boy...his wish was granted!

It is official - I am a mother of a teenager! (part 4)

My oldest son, Avery, turns 13 on Monday. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom!

MEMORY #4 - No one could have prepared me for the energy that is packaged in a boy. It is something that you can not possibly comprehend until you have one…then when you add another boy…and then another boy! Whew.

Avery’s motto from the time that he could walk seemed to be, “Why sit when I can jump? Why stand when I can climb? Why walk when I can run?” He was ALWAYS on the move. It was shocking! At times I wondered if he had some sort of a problem! (I am a worrier.) Then I finally realized that this is simply the way that the Lord made boys, and the only thing to do is smile about it…and really look forward to nap and bed time! I must tell you, it does not get any calmer as they get older, it just changes; but the energy is still there!

Avery seemed to have bumps and bruises all of the time due to all of the jumping, climbing and running. Three weeks before his third Easter he jumped off of the stairs at a store and blackened both of his eyes and bruised his head. I was so worried that they would not be healed by Easter, because Clark would be taking a lot of pictures! Thankfully, they were! However, he and his Daddy were playing the DAY before Easter and Avery was riding a skateboard on his stomach down our steep driveway. At some point the skateboard stopped and he kept going. I think he used his nose and his forehead as a brake. So much for no scrapes or bruises for Easter!

It's official - I am the mother of a teenager - part 3

My oldest son, Avery, turns 13 on Monday. I am in the midst of 13 memories of him…I know it is a silly Mom thing…but, it is therapeutic for this silly Mom! 

Memory #3 – Avery's first word was Da-da, then Ma-ma, then ball-ball.  Everything was pronounced with the first syllable doubled.   Cook-cook (cookie), car-car, cow-cow and so on.  However, the word that we heard the most was ball-ball.  Avery was fascinated with anything that remotely looked like a ball.  I always wanted him to have a favorite stuffed animal that he would want to sleep with and drag everywhere but, no...he always had a ball.  All of our church family thought it was the greatest thing, so they continually bought him balls. There were balls all over my house!  Bro. Chester once bought him a Christmas gift that had 9 balls in it!   At night, he slept with a few of his favorite ball-balls.  After he was asleep, I would sneak in and take them out of his crib.  

When Avery was 18 months old, he fell in love with football.  Monday night football came on, and he would be WILD with excitement.  He would run, jump and tackle everything in sight!  He could barely talk, but could sing the "Are You Ready For Some Football??"  theme song with gusto!  If he did not have a ball, then his imagination kicked in.  He once turned his pacifier into a baseball and "batted" it across the church sanctuary with his wipes container during Bro. Brown's sermon.  

He has never grown out of the love of ball.  You can still sneak into his room at night, and find his favorite football buried somewhere in the covers...just don't tell him I blogged about it!

It is official - I am a mother of a teenager!

"Build me a son, O Lord,

who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,

 and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid,

one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,

and humble and gentle in victory."

I love this quote by Douglas MacArthur. As a mother, I feel such a weighted responsibility to shape my sons into Godly men. Some nights, in sheer exhaustion, I fall asleep knowing I am accomplishing that, and other nights I weep from the feeling of parental failure! However, when I read this quote that begins by asking the LORD to build me a son…it puts it all in perspective that He is the builder and I am a humble tool.

Another favorite quote…

"Between the innocence of babyhood and the dignity of manhood,

we find a delightful creature of a boy."

We aren’t quite hitting the manhood stage in the Presson home yet; however, Avery becomes an official teenager on Monday. It is his golden birthday…13 years old on December 13th. WOW. This saddens me. I know it shouldn’t, but it does. So, take a walk down memory lane with me in the next couple of days as I share my top THIRTEEN memories of my oldest son…He has been the first to teach my every aspect of motherhood. It has been an incredible journey…

MEMORY ONE – I woke Clark up in the wee hours of the morning, six weeks before my due date. I asked him to stay awake with me for a while, because something just didn’t feel right. Of course, he insisted on calling the doctor. The doctor decided I needed to come to the hospital for a check-up. Clark was FURIOUS, LIVID, STOMPING, and RED-FACED, because I was determined to curl my hair before going to the hospital at 2a.m! We had our baby girl clothes packed for Emily Hope and our baby boy clothes packed for Avery Matthew…since we didn’t know which one we would be bringing home. Once we got to Jackson Madison County General Hospital, it was decided that a baby was determined to join us! I have so many memories of that first delivery…some pleasant and others not pleasant.  Thus, I will spare you the details of most. A few of my favorites are… Nana and Papa (my in-laws) had their phone accidentally turned off so we had to contact a neighbor to tell them they had another grandchild on the way. My parents had to drive from Illinois, and I was so excited that they arrived before Avery was born.  Clark decided, when I was dilated to 8, that he wanted a different name other than Avery Matthew if it was a boy. I told him it was too late for name changes!!

At 5:07 p.m. on Saturday, December 13, 1997 our lives were changed forever with the arrival of a tiny 6lb, red faced, blonde headed baby boy. It certainly does not seem like thirteen years ago. Within the hour, my room was full of family and church family that fell in love with my little man the second that they saw him, however, no one was more in love than me.

"There has never been, nor will there ever be,

anything quite as special as the love between a mother and a son."

Things With Wings

The day finally arrived, August 16, 2010. Landry has been counting down the days, hours, minutes until this wonderful event of KINDERGARTEN! I have known it was getting closer and have been trying to be excited with him, but to be truthful I have not been excited. It is one complete chapter closed in my life of Motherhood. I know Avery and Riley have both been to kindergarten. It is not something new for me to go through, but yet there was always Landry still doing the “baby” things! And now all of the baby moments are fully behind me, and my heart is saddened by that. I have ALL big boys now.

Many of you that know me personally, know that I have been on an emotional roller coaster as of late, and the tears have been flowing freely for many different reasons! Last week I opened the mailbox to find a postcard from Landry’s teacher telling him she was looking forward to having him in her class. Of course, this set me off again. Avery began begging me to please stop crying because he just couldn’t stand to see me cry anymore. Thus, I have been trying to hold it in for those few moments when I am alone.

Today, Landry looked so big in his desk with his little plaid shirt and new transformer tennis shoes. He was so proud of himself. He got his crayons out and began to color the butterfly paper his teacher gave him. Butterflies were so appropriate for that moment…butterflies are things with wings. Wings give freedom. Wings give a chance to discover new things, go new places. Wings give encouragement to leave the nest.

As much as it hurts me to think about, I know that the Lord has also given my three sons wings. I recently watched one mother cry as her only daughter discovered her wings and walked down the aisle to meet her new husband. This morning, I cried with another mother whose son is spreading his wings and going to college at the end of this week. I watched my now 4th grader roll his eyes when I tried to kiss him goodbye, and looked into my now 7th graders eyes as he silently pleaded with me NOT to take his picture in his new classroom. Wings not only give freedom and discovery, but they also bring about much change. But, like that butterfly that struggles out of it’s cocoon to unfurl its new found freedom, wings bring life and beauty. Wings make the world a new place of wonder. So, as I begin on this elementary trek with my youngest son, I am going to do my best to encourage Landry to experience all that he can and to spread those wings! I have high hopes that they will always fly him back to his Mama!

Summer Focus

I seem to lose my vision during the summer.  It usually starts to get cloudy around Memorial Day and begins to become clearer in time to purchase school supplies.  I have come to realize this happens because we do not keep a consistent schedule during the summer months.  We  stay up late and sleep longer the next morning.  Our meals take place at random times throughout the day.  We visit fun places and do exhausting things.  All of this activity and change is causing me to become visually impaired.

Do not worry, I don't need to make an appointment with Lens Crafters.  However, I do need to make an appointment with my Heavenly Father.  The One who sees all and knows all.  I realized this when  reading a flyer from my home church that we visited while on vacation.

The pamphlet encouraged the reader to focus on having 20/20 Vision in their Spiritual walk.  The 20/20 Vision theory is blindingly simple.  To attain a heightened spiritual vision, the pamphlet encourages us to strive to combine 20 minutes of prayer with 20 minutes of Bible reading per day.  The paper went on to say that it might not always be that easy.  For me, in the midst of vacations, swimming, picnicking, summer colds, Dollywood, watermelon, and camps, we don't always TAKE time for focused prayer and Bible reading.  Instead, we need to MAKE time to implement this daily discipline.   Such a simple thought yet powerful...don't take time...but make time! 

I want my sons to have a daily commitment in their walk with the Lord.  I want their insights, outlook, point of view, and illusions to be focused on Him each and every day of their lives, not only as BOYS, but more importantly as MEN.  The most often quoted verse in the Bible concerning visions is Proverbs 29:18, "Where there is no vision, the people perish...".  I am responsible for the souls of three particular "peoples."  I want to make sure that their view of a Christian walk is not blurred or distorted in any way.  I believe a parents greatest heart break is when their children perish spiritually.  Therefore, I must MAKE time to have 20/20 Vision. 

My prayer is that a clear vision will birth inspiration.  Inspiration will provide momentum and give the energy to do extraordinary spiritual things.  And in turn that will give so much meaning to marriage, motherhood, and LIFE...even in the midst of a busy summer!

Hangin' on!

Several nights ago, I walked into my living room and found poor Woody hanging from the blind pull. Things like this no longer surprise me. I once opened the microwave to 15 two inch green army men pointing their weapons at me. Batman finds his way into my Christmas nativity each year, and at any given time, you can find super heroes at the bottom of my purse. However, I did draw the line when I opened the shower curtain to find a Darth Vader mask gazing at me.

Woody is one of my favorite Pixar characters, and brought a smile to my face after a particularly long day. He reminded me of the Thomas Jefferson quote, "When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on!" This was just the advice that I needed after a particularly long day.

I am moving into a brand new phase of motherhood. Just when I had the whole elementary school, lets learn our colors, work on our manners, learn to be responsible with your toys, get along with your brothers, put the toilet seat down, parenting kind of stuff worked out...it all changed. I am now officially the mother of a tween. Dictionary.com states that a tween is a youngster between 10 and 12 years of age, considered too old to be a child and too young to be a teenager.

My first born son, is 2 months from being 12, and things are different around our house. I'm not sure I'm ready for the changes. I have attacked my computer and googled everything I can find on parenting a tween. The common thread is that a tween is not at all predictable! And I like predictable! A predictable child makes seems safer to me. A non-predictable son...well, you get the picture.

In a one week span I experienced Avery being a part of a locker room fight...getting his first detention (for an entirely different reason than the fight)...finding that my very organized son is no longer organized when it comes to bringing homework home, taking his trumpet to school on the day he has trumpet lessons, and forgetting to tell me that he has football practice on the day I have scheduled a dentist appointment...AND...realizing it was time for Clark and Avery to have "THE TALK." Many questions followed in which I would love to blog about because they are beyond hilarious, but have been warned not to!

I miss the soft scent of baby lotion. It has been replaced with sports deodorant that is sprayed liberally and often. I miss the times that we sang the Wheels on the Bus one hundred times in a row. It has been replaced with the Ipod and ear plugs. I loved sitting down and coloring together, and now we spend hours at the table on fractions and looooong division. I miss trying to come up with answers to Avery's constant flow of creative questions. Now I'm the one asking a zillion questions, in hopes of getting just a few details about his day. I miss the hours he would spend banging on pots and pans while I cooked supper, and now he grabs his football and heads outside.

Yes, things are changing. I'm learning to have a relationship with my son in a different way. I'm learning football stats and players as well as if they were my neighbors. I'm trying not to hug in front of friends, but relish the tight squeeze around the neck at night when no one is around. I'm learning that cuddly PJ's aren't as cool as boxers and an old t-shirt. But most of all, I'm learning to make the most of these tween times. I'm going to tie a knot in the end of my rope and hang on, and like Woody I'm going to plaster a smile on my face and pretend to like that my children are growing up. I might have to grab a friend (like Woody has Chubaka) for support during this new phase. But most of all I'm going to pray longer and harder, and once again place my sons in the hands that loves them more than I ever will. And remind myself that He has ordered their steps, and He is holding the end of the rope that I am hanging so tightly to.